Man who died in horrific crash in Clay remembered for kindness, ties to local boating community

Clay, N.Y. — Ann Schmitt checked in by phone late Sunday morning with her friend Michael Paetow.
Paetow, her former husband with whom she had reconnected, said he was getting ready to head from his townhouse near Moyers Corners to Dee’s Diner in Mattydale for a bite to eat. He said he would call her in the afternoon.
A few hours later, Schmitt saw photos on Facebook of the white Mustang that Paetow had purchased on Valentine’s Day a couple years ago. It was upside down in some bushes, next to a smashed utility pole.
Paetow, 72, of Liverpool, died in a violent crash Sunday morning at Route 31 and Route 57 (Oswego Road) in Clay.
State Police said his Mustang went speeding through a red light and smashed into a Ford Escape in the intersection. A passenger in the Escape died, and two others — a mother and her baby — were taken to a hospital.
Paetow’s autopsy was performed Monday, Schmitt said. It was inconclusive as to whether he experienced a medical emergency at the time of the crash, she said.
Schmitt, who said she remained good friends with Paetow, said he hasn’t had alcohol since he was in his 20s. He also never did drugs, she said. He was a “cigar aficionado,” she added.
Trooper Jennifer Jiron, a spokesperson for the State Police, said Thursday afternoon that an investigation into the crash is ongoing.
Friends and family remembered Paetow as a kind man who enjoyed helping others. He especially loved being on a boat on one of Upstate New York’s many rivers and lakes.
Paetow was heavily involved for the past decade at the Clayton Yacht Club in the Thousand Islands region, where he had recently served as commodore, a top club official said.
Justin Taylor, the club’s current commodore, said Paetow had a “great appreciation” for the St. Lawrence River. He would sometimes run into Paetow sitting on a bench looking out at the club’s marina and the river.
Taylor said Paetow had been at the yacht club the day before the crash to help prep the grounds for the fall. Paetow had led several improvement projects while commodore, he said, including donating tens of thousands of dollars for some upgrades.
Club members, including Paetow, would sometimes dine together at the club restaurant, Taylor said. Paetow would often chime in with stories about past cruises he took.
“He enjoyed having conversations about almost any topic that was at the table,” Taylor said.
Gina Clifford, the club secretary, said Paetow would always offer advice to younger boaters. He was a lifetime member of the Syracuse Sail and Power Squadron, a boating safety organization.
“He was a walking encyclopedia of knowledge,” she said.
Clifford said Paetow was a key part of one of the club’s traditions. He had been the “clam master,” responsible for the clams at the annual lobster bake.
Paetow would also boat with Ben DiBlasi, a longtime friend.
They would tie up their vessels at the dream home Paetow built with his first wife, Sharon, on the shores of where Chittenango Creek enters Oneida Lake. She died at 44 in 1996 from cancer.
In the 1990s, Paetow was part of an effort to develop boating rules for the Billington Bay section of Oneida Lake, not far from his home, according to Post-Standard archives.
Paetow enjoyed more than pleasurecraft. He would join Schmitt on cruises, including one in March from New York City down to the Caribbean.
“As soon as we had one done, we had one or two more booked,” she said.
Paetow got around in other ways, too — he owned a Harley-Davidson motorcycle and at one point flew Cessna planes.
Paetow worked for several car dealerships, then for the fleet leasing and credit departments at Ford Motor Co. He developed a love for the company’s cars during his time there, DiBlasi said.
“That’s why he was driving a Mustang,” he said.
The two men, now retired, would frequently go out for dinner or grab coffee, DiBlasi said. Paetow would join DiBlasi and his family for holidays, including Thanksgiving.
“He was a great guy, nice guy, good-hearted guy,” DiBlasi said.
DiBlasi said he couldn’t sleep when he heard about the crash. The two had planned to have dinner again together this week.
“He was like a brother, really,” DiBlasi said.
Paetow is survived by a daughter, Mallory (Nick) McCarroll; sisters Michele Paetow and Milissa Monroe; and a niece and nephew.
Friends and family are invited to pay their respects from 4-7 p.m. next Tuesday at R.H. Schepp & Son Minoa Chapel at 6530 Schepps Corners Rd in Minoa.
Staff writer Jon Moss covers breaking news, crime and public safety. He can be reached at [email protected] or @mossjon7.